'Tis the season...

'Tis the season...to worry. Do you ever feel that way?

Christmas music has been playing on my computer at work, on my iPad at home and in my car.
My tree has been up and and house has been decorated for weeks.
All the presents are wrapped and under the tree.
Brian and I have already opened our presents to each other. (An annual tradition!)
We've been to the downtown Christmas parade, the Rotary Waffle Bake and the Festival of Trees at the Museum of East Texas.
We've read the Night Before Christmas.

And yet I'm still struggling to find my Christmas spirit. 

This has been a tough year. The holidays elicit all kinds of stress for me. Buying and wrapping gifts, and managing to find time to spend special moments with all of our families. Sometimes it gets the best of me. And this year, I've struggled to find contentment with the gifts we are giving.

In October, B got a new job. A job he loves. A job he is good at. A job he finds joy in. But also a job that meant a pay cut. Our expenses are always so much higher at this time of the year (anniversary, birthdays and of course, Christmas). We've always lived within our means, but our means have always allowed for a higher cost of living.

I'm having a faith problem. Faith that my husband will provide. Faith that GOD will provide. I know that I am blessed beyond measure. And that's easy to remember that when times are good. When times are tough, I tend to be negative and to worry about everything under the sun. The truth is -- I have a beautiful home, we have 2 brand new cars, we both have great jobs that we love, we have food in the pantry, we have nice clothes, we have an adorable daughter that fills our days with joy, we live near our families and we have 2 of the greatest dogs ever. Most importantly, we have LOVE. My discontentment blinded me from seeing all of the things I have to be thankful for.

I know I shouldn't worry.

It says in Matthew 7:7-8
⁷ “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. ⁸ For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.

and in Matthew 6:19-21
¹⁹ “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. ²⁰ But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. ²¹ For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

and in Matthew 6:25-34
²⁵ “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? ²⁶ Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷ Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life^[e]?
²⁸ “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. ²⁹ Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. ³⁰ If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? ³¹ So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ³² For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³ But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴ Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
 
I know these verses well, but at times I still find myself struggling with worry. Today, I prayed that the Lord would open my eyes to my blessings and put my faith and trust in Him who is the Ultimate Provider. May I always remember that I am blessed. And I am more than monetarily blessed. I am blessed that I have so much family that lives nearby. What a wonderful problem to have! Too much family! A majority of our time spent with them over the holidays! I am thankful for my loved ones and the time I get to spend with them. 

And I am blessed by God's timing. He knows what's best for my family. His timing is perfect.

And my heart breaks by the news of the 26 teachers and children who died in Connecticut last week. Such tragedy that my heart and my mind cannot comprehend. I can only bear to watch the news in small amounts. When I think of these innocent children who lost their lives, I can only think of my own precious 6-year-old step-daughter who goes to school not knowing of the evil that exists in this world. I can't imagine what those parents are going through right now. With their presents already bought and under the tree. The grief is unspeakable. But out of the darkness, comes goodness. I've seen many blog posts, Pinterest sites and Facebook mentions about people who are participating in the 26 Random Acts of Kindness. 26 for all the victims in the Newtown shooting. I believe that people truly are good. I believe that Satan uses people for evil, but I believe that more times than not, God uses people for His glory.

So it's time to get my heart straight. It's time to remember that Christmas isn't about the presents under the tree or how much you spent on them. It's about a GOD who sent his Son to be a light in this very dark world. It's about family. It's about holding those you love close to you. It's about joy and love. It's about contentment. It's about blessings.