86 days is 86 too many

The Crager family has seen the inside of one too many hospitals lately to last us a lifetime. In all, Brian, Emily, Isaac and I have spent a collective 86 days in the hospital in just under two years. Kidney stones, surgery, bed rest, C-section recovery, NICU, and 3 ER visits, with the most recent one with my husband whose hemoglobin levels had reached a critical low.

For the past several weeks, B had been complaining of fatigue, chest pains, shortness of breath, a racing heart and all of the sudden he became deathly pale.

They say God works in mysterious ways. I wholeheartedly agree. On Friday night, B met me and the kids at my parents house for dinner. Afterward, he went to the store for some milk. When he came back, he said he felt like he was about to faint, just from walking back to the dairy section. I was finishing up with Isaac's nighttime bottle when B came into the nursery. Later he told me that Isaac looked up at him with this sweet smile...different from any other he had given his daddy before. In that moment, B said he knew he needed to go to the emergency room. We quickly called my parents to come sit with the kids and rushed to the ER.

We found out that B's hemoglobin level was at a 7. A normal person's levels should be at a 14. He was critically anemic. While we waited to be admitted to the hospital, we researched anemia. Pale skin, shortness of breath, racing heart, fatigue...he had it all. He spent two nights at the hospital after receiving a blood transfusion.

We went home Sunday, but we know this is not the end of his journey towards a full healing. He has a long way to go before his hemoglobin levels get back to normal. He says he already can feel a difference, but notices he can't do as much as before. He's learning to pace himself, which isn't easy for either of us.

It's in these moments -- and so many others we have faced in our short marriage -- when I can't fathom how others get through life's struggles without God. It's been His peace that has guided us during some terrifying moments, especially during these past two years. His peace when we thought we had lost our first pregnancy only to find out that not only were we pregnant, but it was twins! His peace when my blood pressure soared, and I had to be admitted to the hospital at only 32 weeks pregnant. His peace when they took me by medical helicopter to Houston a week later. His peace when our beautiful son and daughter were born 7 weeks early and spent the first month of their lives in the NICU. And His peace when my husband was unknowingly knocking on death's door.

We are so grateful for the thoughts and prayers of our friends and family. It will be an uphill battle as we learn how to beat B's condition, focus on the signs of it possibly worsening and restructure our not-so-healthy lifestyle to make him well again.

We know it's possible, because we know God's peace.

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